Life, as they say, isn’t a bed of roses. It’s full of ups and downs, and sometimes the downs can take a toll on you. You would want a life partner by your side during such low moments. But finding love isn’t always easy, especially if you’re in your later years.
It’s common for people to fall in love young and marry or get married. But what if you clock 70 and haven’t found love yet? Maybe because your spouse died years ago and left you behind; you’re afraid of the kids’ reaction; it’s hard to find the one person who gets you.
No matter the case, finding love later in life is possible. There may be a few hiccups here and there, but isn’t that part of life? Let’s dive into how older couples can find their new beginnings at love.
Understand Yourself — And Don’t Compromise
Knowing what you want is paramount to anyone looking to find love later in life. The younger generation might have the time to experiment and compromise on their needs and wants, but their older counterparts might not have the luxury of time. Older couples usually know what’s important to them and what’s not, and taking that knowledge with you can help you find a like-minded partner.
Today, millions of older people are getting into the dating scene and getting lucky at it. Experts find that many older adults discover their true love long after the typical median age of first marriages, i.e., 28 for women and 30 for men. After the first marriages end, some people may give up on love and find themselves single for a long while. But with true love lurking in the corner, you should never say never.
All you might need is a dating app or an introduction by a mutual friend. And if your wants click, you may find your happily-ever-after.
Change Your Expectations
Older couple romance was unheard of a few decades ago. Before, people were expected to love, marry, and settle young. And that’s why the older adults would find themselves focusing on their grandkids after being widowed rather than finding new love.
That couldn’t be far from the world we see today. People indulge in and celebrate later love. Science even supports love-in-late years. Research shows that the brain pathways that bring about intense romantic feelings will be similar, whether you’re a toddler or a 90-year-old.
Therefore, don’t limit your mind to what happened in the past. You can still find a new love and even get married in your older years. Go ahead and plan out that destination wedding you dreamt of as a child. You can even build the kind of partnership you want, whether sharing a household or maintaining separate homes. It all boils down to your wants.
Introduce Your New Partner to Your People
When you’re older, you probably have a tribe by your side. That’s your family, particularly children. It can be challenging for you to bring in someone new to be part of the family. The kids might be against that idea, thinking that you want to replace their dad. And so, you might hold off the introductions to avoid the conversation. But that’s something that could do more harm than good.
Anyone starting a new relationship in their middle age or older should cultivate a friendship between their new partner and their family. Talk to your kids and your partners’ kids to learn more about them. Explore each other’s family history. Introduce your kids and your partner’s kids so that they get along as soon as possible.
When all is said and done, you can begin the rest of your life journey without worry. You’ll know where everyone’s coming from and their views regarding your relationship. Better still, your tribe may appreciate your honesty and inclusion — and even love being part of your love journey.
Don’t Make Past Mistakes
When people love hard, there’s a possibility of hurting as much if the relationship ends. You might have had multiple previous relationships, and each ended up hurting you. It’s now later in life, and you’re scared to start a new only to get hurt. Heard about the adage of learning from past mistakes? It’s sure going to help you out in your new love journey.
It’s natural to have reservations about falling in love and losing it all. But life’s too short to dwell on what you can’t control. Leap and have faith that you’ve found your forever love. Besides, you know what you want to settle with someone with the same aspirations as you.
Late Life Love is a Thing!
Love isn’t just a four-letter word. It’s a way of life and a part of everyday living, whether you’re young or in your midlife. If you ever feel like you’re in a midlife crisis and need some guidance, you can always get expert help. Midlife Coaching with Shannon guides women through their older years. As a certified life coach, Shannon will help you find a purpose to live your best possible life full of love and light. Schedule a one-on-one today!
