Personal growth can help you make your life more enjoyable and fulfilling. However, people in their 40s and 50s have struggles that put personal growth in their priorities – like debts, health and weight issues, lack of socialization, and obscure goals.
So where do people like us begin?
The key to beginning a personal growth journey is setting your priorities. There’s a lot you can do in five years, but you can’t do a whole lot in five months.
Spend your early efforts as effectively as possible:
- Measure your current situation. Think about a typical day in your life. Then think about a typical weekend. Write down whatever comes to mind. A partial list might look like this:
- Get up for work. I hate getting up this early and I hate my job.
- In the shower – thinking about how I can’t pay my cable bill and still go out with my friends this weekend. I don’t like my body.
- Driving to work- I love driving while listening to music.
- Get home. My dog chewed my couch again.
- Watch TV. I don’t really like this show, but I don’t have anything else to do.
- And so on.
- Rate each of these experiences. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being perfect, rate each thought. It’s the low-rated parts of your life that are putting you down. Do not spend your time on raising a 7 to a 10. It’s the 1s, 2s, and 3s that are wreaking havoc. Until you’ve raised everything up to at least a 5, stick with the lower-rated items on your list.
- Create a 10. Let’s suppose your weight is a big issue. You rate it a “2”, because it negatively impacts your confidence and self-esteem. It’s also becoming a health issue. You also believe that it is hurting your social life. What is the perfect solution?
Write a little story.
Something like this.
I’m on the bathroom scale, and my weight is 170 pounds. This is the perfect weight for me. I look and feel good in my clothes. My doctor is happy with my blood pressure and cholesterol numbers. Men are starting to notice my weight change and are giving me compliments. I now have the confidence to go out with Adam this weekend.
Now you have an objective that clearly addresses a challenging part of your life.
- Consider the people in your life. If you want to improve any part of your life, some people will try to hold you back. They might not do it intentionally, but it will happen. It’s hard to kick your mom out of your life, but many other people are optional.
It’s important to have the support of some people to help you achieve your goals. For example, if you are trying to lose weight, perhaps you need a personal trainer or a few friends that have succeeded in losing extra weight. You will have extra motivation and accountability once you spend time with like-minded people.
- Ask yourself what you need. A cookbook with healthy recipes? A gym membership? New shoes for running? Compare your needs with your current resources. Can you afford to buy those? Or is there anyone whom you can borrow?
- Focus on your habits. Your current situation is the result of years of repeating building habits that do not support your personal growth. Start nurturing better habits so you will get better outcomes. Make tiny changes to your daily habits. It is just a matter of being patient and persistent.
- Be comfortable with being uncomfortable. The faster you wish to change, the more discomfort you’ll face. Accept that discomfort is part of the deal. Your ability to deal with uncomfortable feelings and situations will grow with practice.
It’s daunting to change every aspect of your life all at once, so don’t even try! Focus on the most negative parts of your life first. You can then turn your attention to the less critical items. Beginning a personal growth journey is an exciting time. Good luck!
Call us now and let’s talk about your struggle and develop a strategy for your Personal Growth.
